Acceptance, Forgiveness and Resilience.
The way to deal with the situation that was going on was not according to my will and my plans.
Yesterday, I felt a deep sense of disappointment, anger, and sadness about what had happened and I considered it a failure. Even more fatal, I blame the circumstances that made it fail. I blame the journey of life that doesn’t seem to support what I want, I say why I’m not as free as other people financially who can do whatever they want, and many other unimportant questions that seem as if the whole failure that happened was mistakes of this journey of life. I let go of all the negative feelings by complaining and blaming unsupportive external circumstances. A few moments later, I locked myself in my room and pondered what had happened. I take time to read good articles, watch positive videos, and do other things that can restore my mood and thoughts to be more positive.
I found a way: I had to be able to forgive everything that had happened and apologize to myself.
In that way, I did several things that I think are quite effective in turning negative situations and feelings into positive situations and feelings. Here’s how I do it.
- Give space to think logically.
Sometimes when I’m angry, I can’t think of the good things that might happen. My focus is on anger and the act of blaming that is all and done until it gets satisfaction. When angry, I choose to be quiet for a moment without thinking anything and postpone doing activities that harm or hurt others. Being in silence and invite myself to calm down. Give space to be quiet until you can think logically and clearly.
Because when I’m angry sometimes the contents of my head can’t be controlled, as soon as possible I need to move and stay in a quiet place. Whether in the room, in a quiet garden, or anywhere. This self-isolation is quite effective for calming down the anger.
- Write nice things.
When I’m calm enough and can control my anger, then I write positive things and I write it many times. What I usually write is “Everything happens for a reason, so have a good attitude towards God and the universe.” and I wrote it so many times until I could understand that indeed, everything happens for a reason. If the thing that I want right now is not mine, then, believe me, believe well that God and the universe have prepared much better things than what I want and I could not have achieved before.
- Journaling and self-affirmation.
When you are completely calm, write down whatever good possibilities that will happen. Write down as many good things, dreams, and whatever happy things as I want. By conveying my wishes through writing, it can attract more positive energy which brings feelings of sincerity and relief.
- Forgiving completely.
Why didn’t I do this the first time? Because I know that I am in a state of restlessness, that I am in a state of low vibration, what is on my mind are negative things. Forgiveness in times like these is very hard. So I decided I would forgive after I was in high vibration and sincere about where life’s journey would lead me. Forgiving when you are calm will feel true forgiveness.
- Stop activities in general and give time to do fun things, even if only for a moment.
After I’m fine, I can’t immediately carry out general activities such as returning to work and doing activities that require me to meet other people under various circumstances. Like an external wound, this has just healed and cannot be touched by others, you have to wait for this wound to heal and dry completely. While waiting, I do things that can increase my positive energy such as cooking healthy food, farming, listening to music, reading self-improvement books, or taking a nap. I did this solely to increase my positive energy.
- Build a resilience.
From so many journeys in life, I finally learned to own and build resilient versions of things that I could do. I have to be able to understand that I have gone through difficult times that are not easy, especially if I am not emotionally and mentally strong enough to accept unexpected things happen in life. It did not weaken me, but strengthened me, stronger than my previous life. That way of building resilience is what I instill in my mind that I am a positive and strong human being because I have managed to get through difficult things. So, what is next?
In the end, I would think that life doesn’t have to be complete as we want it to be because life is a balance between good and bad things and all that’s left is how well we handle each storm and enjoy the rainbow after, we are live the life in progress, stuck and feeling if you are anxious, sad or angry, that’s okay, allowing yourself give the space to feel your emotions is the key to building a better future with resilience. Forgiving when you are ready will give you a real apology or forgive sincerely and wisely. It’s the combination of all these strengths that I think will produce a good quality of life and resilience.